Introduction: What Could He Be Thinking?

Michael Gurian
May 4, 2005

These extracts from "What Could He Be Thinking?" by Dr Michael Gurian give a glimpse of the fascinating gender differences in mental functioning discussed in his book. We plan to post a short series of such extracts, with the author's permission.
Robert Griffith, Editor.

The title for this book comes from a conversation I had one Saturday with my wife, Gail, and four of her friends, following their monthly women's lunch. Gail had invited her friends to our house for tea and dessert. Three of the women were mothers, two were married, two were in long-term relationships, the other dating, all were professionals, two were presently stay-at-home moms. Their ages ranged from thirty to sixty.

I was about to leave them alone when Carly, one of Gail's best friends, a woman in her early fifties, said with a wry smile, "So, Mike, come sit down with us and explain a few things about men."

I sat down with these women and we got "down and dirty." I think in those two hours we must have covered countless questions about men and male behaviors. Here are just a few - some humorous, some quite serious.

• "Why is it, when he's staring into the refrigerator, he never sees what's right in front of him?"
• "Why does he just leave his laundry lying around?"
• "Why does it seem like men are on some kind of quest?"
• "Do men and women think about ethics differently? Are there biological sources for this difference?"
• "When a man's development is wounded in his childhood, is his brain actually altered? If so, what emotional adjustments should a woman expect to make in order to keep a marriage strong?"
• "Does the male brain experience as many feelings as women do?"
• "Why do men seem to leave their kids behind and start a new family more easily than women after a divorce?"
• "How can men remember all the pitchers' names and World Series scores, but they can't remember yesterday's conversation?"
• "Why is 'romance' such a primal thing for women but not as much so for men?"
• "Do men have more sexual fantasies than women?"
• "When men get angry, it's difficult to get them to 'talk about it.' Why?"
• "My dad worked himself to death for his family, and we never really appreciated him-now my husband does the same thing. Why do men put so much into work?"
• "Men seem to think about 'honor' a lot - at least it seems so from the movies. What does 'honor' mean to them? Is there a biology to male honor?"
• "Can men actually be more fragile than women, at least in a lot of ways?"
• "What is it with men and cars?"
• "Are women afraid of commitment, or is it only men who are?"
• "Why are men obsessed with getting control of the TV remote?"
• "In fact, what is it with all the gadgets in men's lives?"
• "Is it healthy for men to cry as little as they do?"
• "It seems like men bond with women differently than women bond with men. Is this true?"

Supporting anecdotes and stories from individuals who have lived out the biological trends are crucial, I believe, to the understanding of the male brain. When we put hard sciences together with soft, then combine these sciences with diverse life stories, we can investigate the mysteries of a subject - in our case, the male mind - with greater confidence.

[In this book] we'll look at how the male brain differs biologically from the female brain.

We'll explore how male biology affects a man's thinking about emotions, communication, sex, romance, marriage, morality, and other keys to the journey of human life.

We'll wonder together if a man could really be serious when he says, "What do you mean the house is a mess?" or even more frustrating, "You worry too much. The kids are fine."

With this approach and material, we'll not only discover the secrets of the male mind but also investigate "maleness" as an essential element each of us must encounter fully in our lives if we are to advance our humanity.

We shall post further extracts from Dr Gurian's book in the coming weeks. You can buy his book on-line at Amazon, just click here.

Source

• Michael Gurian. What Could He Be Thinking? : How a Man's Mind Really Works. 1st edition, September 2003. St Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y., 10010

Related Links
Michael Gurian Home Page
Beauty, Health, and Gender
Healthy Relationships
Dealing With Differences

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