This extract from Dean Schneider's book "AgeLess" explores the question of keeping fully engaged as the years advance; it includes a Longevity Quotient quiz, to show you where you stand in this respect. Robert Griffith, Editor.

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Vital Connections That Improve Your Health and Longevity

A friend of mine introduced me to the great comedian George Burns. We met at the Hillcrest Country Club in Los Angeles where Burns came every day to play bridge. Burns had a great attitude toward life. Age 96 at that time, he told me that the secret to his longevity was pretty simple. The real key, he said, was that he couldn't die as long as he had a booking. Burns understood the health-enhancing power of staying involved with life. During his eighties and nineties, he starred in two hit movies playing God (talk about making the connection!), recorded a country and western album, and wrote a best-selling book, How to Live to Be 100 or More. George made it to his goal; he was performing right up to his death at age 100.

What's Your Engagement Longevity Quotient?

To assess your Longevity Quotient in social and psychological habits, take the following quiz. Answer each of the questions with a rating on a scale of 0 to 10, using the suggested descriptions of the scale as a guide. Be sure not to exceed the maximum score allowed for each item.

Note: If you'd rather complete this Longevity Quotient quiz online, you can do so at: http://www.longevityquotient.com

		Your LQ Points	Maximum LQ Points
Rate Your Emotional Health	10 = Great; I feel happy and enjoy my life pretty much all of the time 0 = I feel seriously depressed and/or unhappy most of the time		10
Rate Your Optimism	10 = I always expect the best, even if I've just been disappointed 0 = I always expect the worst so I'm never disappointed		10
How Successful Are You at Coping with Stress?	10 = I can handle whatever comes my way by relying on responses and stress management techniques that I've found to work for me 0 = Stress upsets me so much that I do my best to avoid it		10
How Happy Are You About Your Social and Family Connections?	10 = I feel supported by and supportive of wonderful people whom I'm happy to have in my life 0 = I'm quite unhappy about the state of my family and/or social life		10
In an Emergency, How Many People Could You Rely on in Any Way?	Score 2 points for each person up to a total of 10.		10
How's Your Sex Life?	10 = Great - satisfying, and as active as I want it to be 10 = I would like an active sex life, but have no partner at present 0 = I'm not having sex because I've lost interest		10
Rate Your Level of Active Participation in Life	10 = I pursue my interests with passion and am always open to a new experience 0 = I try to minimize my exertion and stay within my comfort zone		10
Do You Participate in Volunteer Work or Service Activities?	10 = Yes, I make it a point to give to others on an ongoing basis and I enjoy doing so 0 = No, I have no particular interest in volunteering		10
Rate Your Past Experience and Current Interest in Education	10 = High; learning new things is a top priority and source of genuine pleasure 0 = I prefer just to be entertained		10
What's Your Level of Financial Comfort?	10 = I am financially secure 0 = I am in financial distress without a plan for the present or the future		10
TOTAL			100

What does your engagement LQ say about your psychological and social health? To see how your thoughts, feelings, and coping behaviors are contributing to your healthspan, check the Dean's diagnosis for your score.

LQ Score	The Dean's Diagnosis
91 - 100	You're making the connection to a long, happy life. Congratulations and keep it up.
81 - 90	You're well-engaged with life but may want to take a look at some of your low-scoring areas to optimize your health and happiness
71 - 80	You're in danger of disconnecting. Your attitudes and behaviors could be limiting your potential and harming your health. Let the New Rules guide you to how you can improve.
61 - 70	Engagement emergency. Changing the way you engage with the world is vital to your LQ. Get started today.
60 and below	Rejoin the world! You need an overhaul of your social and psychological habits. You must make a change if you hope for an enjoyable, fulfilling lifespan.

New Engagement Rule #1: Respond Successfully to Stress

You've heard the mantra: Stress less! You hear it so often it probably just adds to the pressure as your emotional mercury starts to rise. For most people, the advice to stress less is not just impossible but wrong. A certain amount of stress comes with living a rich, loving, rewarding, involved life. It's not how much stress you have but how you handle it that matters most for your health.

Successful versus Nonsuccessful Ways to Cope with Stress

In his book Aging Well, Dr. George Valliant describes adaptive and maladaptive coping techniques that people use when faced with stress¹. To follow New Rule #1, choose from the "Successful" column - sublimation, humor, altruism, suppression, and perspective.

Unsuccessful	Successful
Projection: Attribute the problem to others.	Sublimation: Turn bad situations into good.
Passive aggression: Channel your anger into this unproductive activity.	Humor: Laugh at yourself and the situation.
Dissociation: Hey, it's not your problem.	Altruism: Get pleasure from helping others in similar situations.
Acting out: Respond like a child.	Suppression (not repression): Be patient and look for the bright side.
Fantasy: Get me to Shangri-la!	Perspective: Put the situation in its proper place.

Relax and Meditate: The Zen of Longevity

Meditation and progressive relaxation are great antidotes to stress. The body slows down to a sleeplike pace, but the mind remains in the relaxed-alert alpha wave range. Learning to relax or meditate can be a great boost to your healthspan, so invest the time now and turn to these techniques whenever you need them. Try to establish a regular schedule - perhaps first thing in the morning or the last thing you do before going to bed at night.

Here's one simple form of meditation to try. Like most skills, meditation gets better with practice, so don't give up if you don't feel particularly meditative your first time.

• Begin your session by sitting or lying in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and breathe easily through your nose. It's recommended that you wait for at least 2 hours after eating a meal before meditating.
• Focus your attention on each muscle group in your body, starting with your feet and working your way up to your face and head. Tense the muscles you're working with, then let them go. Take a deep breath in and out, letting your muscles relax completely. Move on to the next group.
• When you've relaxed all the muscles in your body, shift your focus to your breathing. Silently say your favorite calming word with each inhalation and exhalation. If you don't have a favorite word, say AgeLess with each breath.
• If thoughts come into your mind, gently set them aside and redirect your attention to your word.
• Continue for 10 to 20 minutes, or longer if you like.

New Engagement Rule #2 - Expect the Best

Is your glass half full or half empty? Do you see a happy, upbeat mood as an optional and occasional indulgence, to be expected only when falling in love, after the birth of a child, or upon getting a big promotion? As an unabashed optimist, I was very pleased when a study came out of the Mayo Clinic showing the power of positive thinking. Researchers interviewed 800 Minnesota residents to assess and rate their optimism levels, and then tracked them for 35 years to see how long they lived. Regardless of age or sex, the optimists lived longer. The pessimists died prematurely. In fact, for every 10 percent increase in the pessimism index, there were 20 percent more early deaths.

Many other studies affirm that happy people are healthier and outsurvive their pessimistic or depressed counterparts - and the benefits of a good mood can obviously begin today. When the Veterans Administration Normative Aging Study took a longitudinal look at 659 men in middle and older age, researchers found that optimism was associated with feelings of better health, more vitality, higher mental health ratings, and lower levels of pain. Depression had the opposite effect. Feeling good is not a luxury; it's a basic component of health. Engaging the world with an expectation of the best can give you a longer, better life.

New Engagement Rule #3 - Put Relationships First

Psychologists and sociologists use the technical term social networks to describe what you may more commonly think of as the people in your life: family; friends; work buddies; and people you know from church, sports, volunteer work, hobby groups, or school. Those people can help you manage stress, boost your morale and self-esteem, and enhance your satisfaction with life - all of which improve your longevity prospects. If you get sick or hurt, have a financial crash, or face an emotional crisis, your social network can help to care for you and offer ideas and resources to get you through. Having social connections has also been found to improve people's access to health and social services.

Women are generally better at building and maintaining social networks than men. When men might gather on the basketball court or football field, they are usually more intent on beating their opponents than getting to know them well. Women, on the other hand, often do the lion's share of running the family, managing the social calendar, talking on the phone with friends, going to lunch with coworkers, volunteering, and joining clubs. These sorts of uncompetitive personal connections tend to weave a wider, stronger net. Many single guys know the double whammy of breaking up a relationship - you lose most of your friends along with your girlfriend or wife, which can be one of the reasons that widowers tend to die much sooner after losing their wives than do widows after the loss of their husbands.

We've known for some time that being happily married improves your health and increases your lifespan. A spouse provides the closest form of life-extending social support, keeping you well with companionship and love - both primal human needs - and help with practical tasks. If you develop health problems, your partner may serve as the chief caregiver, assisting in daily activities, serving meals, and providing nursing care; coordinating medical treatment with your doctors; researching options and alternatives; and keeping you company.

New Engagement Rule #4 - Stay Active and Engaged

In a Fort Lauderdale supermarket, I found my groceries being packed by an older man with a merry smile. He insisted on carrying them to the car and loading them into the trunk. My bagman was a former advertising executive who retired to Florida at age 65 expecting to play golf, take it easy, and reap the rewards of years of hard work. Two years later, bored, depressed, and yearning to be around people again, he took the supermarket job not because he needed money, but because he liked the sense of purpose and social connection it gave him. And the exercise kept him trim. You could call this man a recovering retiree.

Some individuals thrive in retirement, staying active and realizing long-held dreams - spending more time with grandchildren, learning to paint, writing a novel, traveling the world. For others, retirement can be a disappointment, even toxic. The loss of identity, purpose, and self-worth associated with stopping work can rapidly lead to depression. When not well-planned, retirement can be a passport to disability and death.

An AgeLess tactic is to make the transition to a healthy, engaging, and activity-filled retirement by planning ahead. Start by making three lists of things you plan to, hope to, and dream of doing in retirement. Try out some of these activities in advance of retirement day. Take a cruise, spend a week with your grandchildren, start your novel. Are they as pleasurable and meaningful as you had hoped? Do they provide enough social interaction to keep you connected? Adjust your lists accordingly.

New Engagement Rule #5 - Stay Sexually Active

A healthy sex life can help you age well on many fronts. First, you get physical exercise. The average American couple takes 10 to 16 minutes for sex, which counts as a full exercise bout. Of course, longer time can be enjoyably taken and more exercise obtained. Sex can also boost your mood, offering a natural high that draws on your full neuroendocrine response to send feel-good messages to the brain. And as the ultimate act of intimacy, sex is a wonderful way to nurture your connection to your significant other. This loving bond not only gives life meaning but improves health and longevity, too.

For most people, sex changes with age. We slow down physically; it takes longer than it once did to get aroused, to achieve orgasm, and to get aroused again. Think of the tortoise and the hare, and take your time! If you follow the New Rules, you should have plenty to spend. And, of course, eating right and exercising regularly can help keep all systems go. But even more importantly, research shows that even as physical stamina wanes, sex can remain richly satisfying as it becomes less physical and more of an expression of intimacy and a relationship's deeper meaning. This is especially true if you've been with your partner for a long time.

Have an AgeLess Day - Practice Engagement

Here are some of the daily practices that can shape and support your AgeLess attitude.

• Get out of bed! Oversleeping can be a sign of depression.
• Self-monitor. Note your stress and anger levels, and identify and practice effective response techniques.
• Take a relaxation break when you need to.
• Call a friend, take someone to lunch, drop an e-mail to a family member, or profess your love to your partner.
• Laugh. If the people around you don't do the trick, go to a funny movie or read a humorous book. Smile at someone you wouldn't otherwise smile at.
• Enjoy yourself. Schedule something you love today and every day - cooking a delicious meal, playing with the kids, working on your favorite hobby, or taking a relaxing bath.
• Help out. Do something to help another, either through formal volunteer work or a random act of kindness.
• Challenge your mind with a class, a high-quality book, a puzzle or game, or practicing the piano.
• Share intimacy with your significant other.

In our next extract from "AgeLess", Dean Schneider explains the role of hormone replacement with advancing years.