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Talking With Your Doctor |
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 When
you are hesitant to ask questions
Some people are shy about asking "too many" questions. Many people
are hesitant about asking some questions, but not others. Usually,
your doctor has heard your questions before, no matter how silly,
embarrassing, or far-fetched they sound to you. At some point, however,
you may want to ask a question, but just can't get the words out.
At times like those, try the "surrogate approach." Have your spouse,
parent, child, or whoever is close to you ask about the information
while you look on tolerantly. This may seem rather devious, but works
well if you are uncomfortable with any sign of irritation, real or
perceived, from your doctor. Such irritation is often easier for someone
else to bear if they are very protective of you or don't feel as dependent
on the doctor. Furthermore, your family member may welcome the opportunity
to have his or her own questions answered.
The surrogate approach works just as well for gathering other medical
information. While you may be just as interested in the details of
your care, you may be expending most or all of your energy on getting
treatments or managing day-to-day activities. Someone else may have
more energy for gathering information, asking questions, keeping track
of answers and other details, and running down hard-to-find people.
They may also be less troubled or discouraged by brusque replies,
impatience, or evasions. |
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Adapted from The
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness,
by Joanne Lynn and Joan Harrold, copyright by Joanne Lynn, used by
permission of Oxford University Press.
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