 |
 |
Living With Serious Illness |
|
 Introduction
Over and over, as they realize that they are facing serious and incurable
illness, patients and their loved ones ask doctors and nurses: "What
do I do now?" And they really mean that they do not see what
comes next or how a good person should act. Most Americans get a serious
illness at a time when they have very little practical understanding
of how to live with illness and very few images of how things could,
or should, turn out. The first thing to remember is that you really
do now more than you might think. You can trust yourself.
Before in your life, you have made decisions, faced challenges, and
found what is important to you. You will now, too. This text aims
to help. It builds on a quiet conviction that people, even very sick
or very burdened people, have remarkable spirits, inspiring creativity,
the capacity to cope with illness and mortality, and the wonderfully
human drive to find one's own life's meaning.
Living with a serious illness can open up an unexpected variety of
new possibilities.
You may feel freed to do those things you put off until someday, even
though your activities are likely to be restricted by the unpredictability
of good days and bad days. You may open yourself up to the love and
care of those around you, even as you try not to overburden others
with your needs. You may find deep meaning in the smallest of things,
even if you question your faith in the greater powers of the universe.
And you may glimpse, even face squarely, the certainty of earthly
mortality, no matter your beliefs about what is to come. You will
often confront the uncertainty of not knowing exactly when death will
come.
Serious illness can be a time of growth, meaning, and healing. Many
people find, often to their surprise, that the period of time when
life may be short is a very precious time. When you are dying, you
should do those things you have always wanted to do. Families and
friends may want to hear your old stories one more time and to share
with you their hopes and dreams and worries. They may look to you
for blessings and advice. You and those you love will often look to
a shared faith in God, nature, and each other to make some sense of
life and death.
You may find the opportunity to heal relationships that were torn
apart long ago. This time will not always be comfortable or rewarding.
But coming to terms with the limits of life is a job that each thinking
person has to undertake, and it can be so meaningful to you and to
those around you.
You may not think that you have taken on a "search for meaning,"
but that is one thing that most people actually do when dying (though
you may say it differently). For some, the search reassures them that
they have lived life as well as they could. Others find new insights
and make commitments to live the rest of life a little differently.
Either way, your loved ones will remember your experience and use
it to shape their own when their time comes. This module is full of
people, stories, ideas, and advice to help you find more of this kind
of meaningfulness in the final phase of your life.
Dying, though, can also be a time of frustration, fear, poor communication,
and physical discomfort. This module, and others that go with it,
offers stories and practical advice on getting through these problems,
too. You will find help for managing pain and other symptoms, talking
with your doctor, and wrestling with some of the difficult issues
that may arise. |
|
Adapted from The
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness,
by Joanne Lynn and Joan Harrold, copyright by Joanne Lynn, used by
permission of Oxford University Press.
|
|
|
