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Finding meaning |
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 Four
R's for the Spirit
You may find this list helpful in your search for meaning.
 Remembering
Take time to reflect on your life and its events. What were your accomplishments?
Who influenced you, for better or worse, and whose lives did you influence?
Who did you love? Who do you love? What do those relationships mean
to you now?
Reassessing
Take time to see your life as a whole. You may ask what your life
really added up to, or who you really were. You might share your thoughts
with those who know and love you. Even if you accomplished much in
the worldly sense, you may feel you really came up short on doing
well with your life. And if life was really tough, you may feel unfairly
denied your chances. This is the time to be honest and thoughtful.
You are likely to find that you did pretty well, on the whole, and
you will probably find ways to forgive yourself and others. Surprisingly,
you will even find ways to see and complete important tasks, such
as instructing a grandchild, affirming the goodness of someone who
really needs your support, arranging your finances to protect your
spouse, or creating something, whether it's needlepoint, woodworking,
or fine art.
Reconciling
Try to be at peace with yourself. You may need to reconcile yourself to not having done the things you always wanted to do.
You may need to forgive yourself for your shortcomings or transgressions, or forgive those who hurt or disappointed you.
You may need to ask others to forgive you. Reconciliation with your imperfections, and those of others, can help you find peace.
Reuniting
Try to be at peace with those you love. Most of us have had various
relationships disrupted over our lifetime, from death, anger, relocation,
and the many forces that push people apart. As serious illness threatens,
it is important to come together with family and friends, when you
can, and to have the chance to say farewells. Don't wait too long
to try to see that long-estranged sister or son, or even to sit awhile
with a friend from long ago. If you believe in some kind of hereafter
or heaven, that afterlife can also be where our souls will be reunited
with those who have died before us. |
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Adapted from The
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness,
by Joanne Lynn and Joan Harrold, copyright by Joanne Lynn, used by
permission of Oxford University Press.
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