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Enduring and Changing |
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 Seeing
Yourself More Clearly
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Being honest with yourself |
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Knowing your limitations, but living fully |
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Being open to the lessons and gifts life continues to offer,
despite the difficulties of being ill. |
Adjusting to living with serious illness will require that you be
honest about what you are feeling and experiencing, in both good times
and bad. You don't have to hide or be embarrassed by tears, anger,
and frustration. A touch of humor may help you cope. Janie would post
a sign on the front door, either "Mom's Having a Good Day,"
or "Mom's Having a Bad Day," depending on her mood. She
said, "I guess folks ought to know what to expect when they come
to see me. This gives them an out if they're not up to the challenge."
Your own challenge is also to be honest with yourself and to live
within your limitations, but to live fully within them.
Along with determination and honesty, be open to what life has to
offer now. Tom said, "You know, I never stop being afraid of
dying. But I'm more afraid of not living. I've got just so much time,
so I have to make the best of it." He started painting again,
a hobby he had long ago put aside. It served as a powerful antidote
for the depression that haunted him.
No longer able to participate in her regular activities, Janie learned
to knit and taught her daughter some simple stitches. Eventually,
their "knitting time" became their special time together. Learning
new skills or finding renewed pleasure in interests long forgotten
can be a wonderful affirmation of your spirit. Tom and Janie would
quickly say that it wasn't easy to find their way through the "shadow
of the valley of death." They discovered that they had to turn to
others who gently helped them see a different direction, nurturing
the determination that lay quietly within, waiting to be summoned. |
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Adapted from The
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness,
by Joanne Lynn and Joan Harrold, copyright by Joanne Lynn, used by
permission of Oxford University Press.
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